Reflection at its Finest

So I'm up talking to my good friend and fellow Libra/Thinker Mike (Jedi) about life, as usual...

I've came to the conclusion that life is about loving, learning, understanding and lets not forget .. living.

Love is a non-superficial, non-tangible and unexplainable healing emotion that comes from deep within and when all it set aside, its nothing it can not cure. lets not forget to accept something called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE , for all you doubters!

Unconditional, under NO conditions, NO rules apply!

Other things we chase in life, not to sound all preachy and what not, are not as deep as understanding purpose, learning from our mistakes and loving what we have and each other. Too many people, including myself, press for what they do not have and try and reach for what we WANT, that we lose hold of all that we already have.

Think about it, the richest man of gold, diamonds, fame, fortune and all that can be the most miserable if there is no love in his life. by love I do not mean a female/male counterpart, but the genuine feeling we have for those we hold closest to us.

The "poorest" household can see past their lack of riches/material things when they have a household filled with unconditional love and that's no lie!

It's OK to dream and aim for more..
I mean who doesn't want more for their self?!
BUT don't forget what you have.
Cherish those around you who keep you grounded when you're trying to get to where you're trying to go.

It's a beautiful thing when you open you're mind and reflect, just think about life.

Sometimes when we do reflect we think about all the bullshit we did in life and you're like "what was I thinking..?!" and then some of us are like OK and snap out of thinking, but why?? its already said and done, you'd be surprise how much sense life makes when you reflect.

After reading excerpts from "Seat of the Soul" (thanks Mike), which happens to be JayZ fave book, the author defines "TRUST" and some other words that I will post.. but he says the definition of trust is .. an "active partnership with the Universe; knowing that the circumstance you are in is working toward your best and most appropriate end." -Gary Zukav.

That made me feel really at ease about a lot of things! its like, "hey whats done is done and you just have to believe that's a part of your life plan..".

For some people reading this it may seem as if I'm going off the deep end so if your mind isn't open, JUST LOG BACK ON FACEBOOK!

The most mind boggling part about life, TO ME, is if our lives our already pre-destined or does free will make our lives unpredictable?!

I often think of that after I reflect because if I have done something "wrong" or that didn't work out how I felt it "should have" I'm like "ok is this fd up situation for the better?!".. but then I think about people who are born into really UNFORTUNATE situations, it's like they didn't even get to CHOOSE! that's when I just came to the conclusion that life is pre-destined but again, this is just my opinion from what I've gathered from life thus far.

there are so many wonders of the world and I'm 100% I wont figure 99% of them out. Erykah Badu once said "a wise man knows that he knows nothing at all..".. now I'm not saying I'm wise.. but eh! no seriously, wisdom is truly a blessing and I hope to become more level headed so that one day I can acknowledge I have acquired wisdom and knowledge.. there is a difference people!!

I always say the problem with the world is we try to figure everything out, give reason and logic, it used to frustrate me like "why don't people just shut up and accept the fact that they do not know.."! Then I thought, reason, logic, religion, school, all of these things in our everyday lives give us comfort to know SOMETHING and have an explanation. It gives us something to "believe".

I truly believe all things in life can not be explained but I hope one day after we leave our physicals' shell that it will be, because umm I'm curious whats this thing we call "life" all about.

I could go on for days about Philosophy, History, Conspiracy's and much more .. but I don't want to get carpel tunnel..so that's just something for you to REFLECT on...

D I A R Y

OK so I haven't written in 2 weeks or so, I had a drought. I don't know how I managed to not do my daily venting with so much on my brain. I think that I worry about the future too much. I'm not sure if that is a bad thing though. It's weird because I usually just live for the moment but I want so much more for myself I can't help but ponder how I'm going to get there! you know..

They say "failing to plan, is planning to fail.." (one of those old men on the dollar bill) BUT life never goes according to what we "plan" so I've been careless most of my life, well not so much care less but worry-free. Now that I'm getting older and needing to be closer to my dreams, I've come to the conclusion that I must plan SOMETHING so that I'm not like a string of hay in the wind.. carefree but liable to end up anywhere.

But no seriously, sorry to put you all in a position to vent to you..as Drake said, but I need to get on track asap. I know for a fact I'm going to live up to my successes, it's just a matter of getting there, and I've always said that. Not noticing that meant I need to devise a plan of some sort.

So while in the bath tub listening to Lykee Li, I came up with my "life plan".. this will be my resolution, for the new year, to stick to that. Believe me, Thursday, on my day off I am surely putting it on cardboard and in living color as if its an extra credit project for a class I'm failing and tacking it to my wall so I can not push it to the back of my mind or get endlessly side tracked by nonsense. What's funny is I side track myself.. but I have faith in myself .. as long as I have that.. I can't go wrong..

how to lose a WOMAN in 10 days...

RELATIONSHIP. some of us want to run when we see that word some smile because their in one and some pick up the phone, call their best girl friend and max out capital one credit cards in SOHO because they've just been "dumped". EITHER WAY, we can all relate.

In July 2003, "How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days" was released.

In the movie..

"Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) is a journalist, who works for a magazine called Composure as the "How to..." woman. She's bored and wishes she could write more about important things, such as politics, economics, religion, poverty, and so on. She soon finds herself writing an article called "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." Andie tells her boss that, to write more freely and creatively, she'll date a man and do all the wrong things women tend to do in relationships, and record her experiences for the article.

At the same time, advertising executive Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey) tells his boss that he can make any woman fall in love with him in just ten days. To prove it, he'll find a woman and bring her to the upcoming company ball as his date. If he succeeds, he gets to be in charge of the advertising for the new diamond company account otherwise headed by his boss." -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Lose_a_Guy_in_10_Days

After watching the movie, I thought, there are so many things men do that sadly disgust or frighten us and we get the role of the "maniac" or "dramatic". In turn, I composed a list of things guys do that will have us running for the door.. in 10 days .. ENJOY!

-lacking emotion

this is personally my number one! i feel like lacking emotion sometimes is equivalent to lacking interest in me or the matter at hand. as much as we (ladies) hate to admit it, we famales are emotional beings. by emotional I DO NOT mean kleenex and a gallon of Ben & Jerry's - emotional, meaning, over-caring NOT over-bearing! so when something is bothering us, we want to "talk about it". guys dont understand how important communication is! if u cant talk to one another, chances are it's going to be a rocky road. no relationship is ever perfect BUT things can be better if you have small pow-wows versus major blow ups. a little talking here and there will lessen the big shit, basically. TRY and hear her out! most females do not want to lose what they have [when it is a good thing], so we strive to be problem free as much as you all do. but you have to accept that we are emotional.. point plank period.."guys cant handle it because they're not used to displaying emotions so they dont understand them.." says my good friend Kim, when I approached her about the piece i was working on. why is it guys stray away from emotion? it DOES NOT make you any less of a man, if anything it gives you a little more because its so typical for men to "not understand".

-having a psychotic ex girlfriend or "baby mother"

the "ex-file" is a card we (females) rarely want to pull but sometimes it is necessary to see what a guys preference or selection of female is (mentally and physically) OR because she just wont go away! sadly, there are some women who do not know how to let go once their "ex" has! if you are that woman and you are reading this: its not OK! epecially to involve the current girlfriend. halting your ex's current situation is putting you further behind then you think you're putting him. other than that it's CLEARLY not a good look! GUYS this is where you come in.. DO NOT let your ex and current girlfriend bicker over you! that does mean you're hot shit because you have two women going back and forth .. that just meanas their foolish and you're probably good in bed! understanding you're the epi-center of the "beef" means you have the ultimate control.

-being hypocritical

be more upfront with a girl and she will know what she's working with. it will be less likely that she'll get attached if she knows what it is you want! for those of you saying "i told her and she still on me.." WELL GUESS WHAT!! at the same time if you do not want a relationship, let your actions reflect that! you CAN NOT spend a gazillion hours with her, do relationship-like stuff and continue to protest how you are not ready. how are you not ready for something you are practically in?! come on guys!

-spacebook

myspace and facebook! any form of internet socialism, is just that. when a female sees a guy trying to hook up with other chicks via facebook or whatever .. that's a turn off and its also sneeky! we know sneakiness is a no-no! ALSO if that is the way you two met, forget about it. chances are that's going to get thrown at you when you're up late night glued to pop chat .. "well thats the way we met, so what are you saying??". dont want that buddy!

-not being open-minded

being a crab in a barrel-one in the same as others- leaves no room for a gal to get to know YOU! there is nothing wrong with being eclectic, broadening your genre of music, maybe going to a museum every now and again, exercising together, walks in the park on a nice day while munching on shizkabobs (sorry the visual included food because im greedy) but seriously! its actually refreshing to step out of the box. in turn you'll learn more about your girl and she'll give extra brownie points for not being the average Joe Schmoe of a boyfriend!

-having an unhealthy obsession

we all have hollywood crushes or have "mistakenly" awaken to showtime at 3a.m. when "naughty college nurses" just happen to be on! HOWEVER, those people on the screen or in magz and videos should not affect your relationship! chances are you will not be stroking Alicia Keys in this life time, so it would help if you did not constantly talk about her ass and hips to your girlfriend. a few times is ok, she might even tell you "hey, your girl is on.." BUT 'do not make the mistake in bringing up what she can see..' as stated by Jessica of REBEL RABBIT in a piece about guys being addicted to porn. Find a way to insinuate what you would like her to try or do, but in a nice way. "Why don't we do that?!" is a no go! it'll have you in the dog house and her insecure.

-having "stalker" tendencies

if a girl is interested, TRUST ME AND GOD, you will know. there is no need to press the issue, resend texts because you "think" she did not respond the first 3 times because she "probably didn't get them", send messages of interest through mutual friends at social gatherings or insist that "somewhere down the line" you just know you two are "meant to be"! uhhhh ..NO!

-the infamous "mama's boy"

awww isn't that adorable. NOT! when you are in a relationship and even have a live-in girlfriend, do not compare what or how she does things to your mothers ways. Mommy always knows best but you also have to be considerate that you are dealing with someone in a different manner. So kindly suggest that she make her eggs differently without saying DIRECTLY "my mom doesn't make it like that.."! tisk tisk tisk.

-the texter

if you (guys) can not hold a decent conversation outside of text messaging, HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM! these guys really exist! you have 2 hour stimulating conversations every other night, finally get some face to face time and you can almost hear a pen drop due to the fact you are tired of being the conversation starter! see, texting can get you into trouble. do not (obviously) see your phone ring at 6:01 and not answer but text your girl at 6:01 and 47 seconds and have the nerve to say "whats up". I can tell you whats not up! if you have no sensible reason for not actually answering, (meeting, funeral, class, job that does not allow texting because some do, etc.) that screams "I'M DOING SOMETHING I HAVE NO BUSINESS DOING" !! end of story. then you all wonder where the accusations come from. ha!

hey..im just saying..

why did the vegan cross the road??..

This seriously makes me want to be vegan. End of story.

New World Order

Why is it when we're in love or dealing with someone we care about "heavy", we almost or completely lose touch of ourselves??

When the battleship sinks or the love boat docks..then comes the unpacking of all your belongings from the 2nd drawer to your actual drawer, in your living space...

Somewhere in between translation, the separation feels like leaving one realm and stepping into another..one which you know but weren't hoping to go back to.

Maybe it's just me who feels both worlds should intertwine to make a great new one..versus time travel to the past.

I'm not sure if us Libras fall hard or just simply have high hopes when genuinely interested..

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE??..

Accepting The Expected

Over the years, we learn to not touch hot stoves, not to go in the deep end and to stay in shallow water, but how is it we still end up in deep shit??

Sometimes our intuitions gives us hints of troubles to come and bumps in the road. However, this thing we call "love" basically haults and henders that sense, sadly.

After our first loves and first heartbreaks, we tend to instinctively put up a defensive guard, sheilding our hearts because we know what it is like to be hurt. That guard then turns into a sense of knowing, because something at some point seems familiar.

In my situation, I know there is a possibility that a certain someone may not come my way in the crossroads of his ex-factor and I. It's not fair to my heart to be broken, with fair warning...BUT at the same time life and love are about taking chances.

How will I, or any of us for that matter, ever know unless we take risks?!

I dont believe its FAIR to my conscious to NOT take chances in general.

I dont want to ever have to wonder "what would have happened if..." about ANYTHING in life... im a-ok knowing i tried and knew when to let go.

Somethings make us females just want to walk away..but when we do.. we're like holograms..

gone but not really..

Maybe the tougher things can work out, but you just have to be prepared to ACCEPT THE EXPECTED...

if not...that too shall pass..

No Glove..No Love..

The History of Condoms

Condoms have been around for a very long time, probably longer than you would have expected. Here's a brief summary of the history of condoms.


1000 B.C. - Condom use can be traced back several thousand years. Images from around 1000 BC show the ancient Egyptians wearing linen sheathes. It’s still being debated whether they wore these condom-like sheathes for protection or for ritual.

100-200 A.D. - The earliest evidence of condom use in Europe comes from scenes in cave paintings at Combarelles in France.

1500s - In Italy, research by Gabrielle Fallopius found the linen sheath useful for prevention of infection, and later discovered its usefulness for the prevention of pregnancy.

1700s - The naming of the condom is a bit of a mystery. Some believe it was named for "Dr. Condom," who supplied King Charles II of England with animal tissue sheaths. Others believe the name came from a "Dr. Condon" or "Colonel Cundum." Most likely it came from the Latin word "condom," which means "receptacle."

1844 - Goodyear and Hancock began to mass-produce condoms made out of vulcanized rubber, which is a stronger and more elastic material.

1861 - The first advertisement for condoms was published in an American newspaper when The New York Times printed an ad for "Dr. Power's French Preventatives."

1873 - The Comstock Law was passed. It prohibited the advertising of any sort of birth control, and it also allowed the postal service to confiscate condoms sold through the mail.

1880s - The first latex condom was produced, although it was to be the 1930s before these were in widespread use.

Early 1900s - Social hygienists fought to prohibit the use of condoms by Americans, resulting in U.S. troops in World War I having the highest rate of STDs — over 70%! By World War II, a more realistic attitude had emerged and the government aggressively promoted the use of condoms.

1960s - The sexual revolution of the '60s resulted in a decline in condom use as more and more youth practiced free love — without condom usage.

1980s - HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, was identified, and the Surgeon General stated that other than abstinence, the most effective way to protect against HIV is to use a latex condom each and every time you have sex.

1990s - The 1990s saw the introduction of a large number of different types of condoms, including colored condoms, ribbed condoms, studded condoms, flavored condoms, glow-in-the-dark condoms, and large condoms, as well as the first polyurethane condom.


YO! .. even when times are HARD .. WRAP it up ;]

- http://www.undercovercondoms.com/condom-history.asp

Sincerly Yours.

Dear Love,

dont wanna talk about it
so I write about it

[had thoughts all night about it]

they say dont look for love
for it will find you

you find it
and then they say
"dont let it blind you.."

when we dont look for it
can we miss it..

[did i miss it]

silence speaks the truth
and right now..
i hear nothing but crickets

im here|you're here

but somewhere in between..
there is so much distance
to be happy..
we catch ourselves reminiscing

love lost
love gone

been fighting this battle
no war marks

but my heart is torn

between me and you
and between I

all because I believe in one last try..

dont wanna waste time
dont wanna waste mine

like love laugh more
live life learn grind

all in due time..

im not the perfect love
but you wont regret me ..


Sincerly,
Yours.

Just One of Those Days...

As I sit in the local Starbucks
enjoying the sweet presence of a grateful pairing
a latte with caramel
sweeter than sunday soulfood
and the blue-est blueberry moistened cake...

I cant help but notice how much of a city gal I am.

The headache of on going traffic and bumping bags
gives me the thrill of a cricket in the darkened night
with the brightest stars

I cant help but wonder
where do I belong??...

The tug between city and south never rests
but only when i do
the thought is everlasting
until the time will come
for the move to be made

Chances and opportunites
are as life is....


[what you make it].

route 22: BEWARE road curves

as i watched Sex And The City (SATC) "unoriginal sin" .. i did have to check myself for rewarding a certain someone for telling me how he "felt" .. as Samantha did Richard as he explained that he cheated because he was "scared" ..

why do we reward men for correctly identifying their feelings?? ..

"we do it everyday.." says Miranda .. and my how true that is ..

i think we women are so touched by love or the thought of it we tolerate and even back some of the most ridiculous "feelings" men have .. one of them being .. their gender.. that they are just "being a man" .. we as women tolerate a lot bc we say "well he's a guy what do you expect??.." ..

have THEY taken this excuse and ran with it as far as we have, if not further?! ..

NO I AM NOT A MAN BASHER .. NOR AM I PRO-FEMALE ..

i simply wonder what is this barrier between men, women and "feelings" ?? ..

when all is said and done ..

love is like a multi lane highway .. men goin north .. women going south .. and a few collisions every now and again!

all in all, a person is not measured by their wins, but by how they respond to their losses ..

either way ..

learn from love ..

to learn to love ..

better than the time before..